Moving right along, the next order of business is of a personal note: NEVER try to make friends with people from craiglist...sure it has its moments as getting an apartment or getting a valuable antique item...but try not to go and meet people on that site. Last night was one of the most awkward moments in my entire life, as it was made repeatedly said to myself that I would NEVER do something like that ever again. You know, as the saying goes: "Nice guys finish last"...well, let's just say that one of them was nice...but maybe too nice to even make me want to hang out with him again. I have this tendency of trying very hard to not criticize on a particular person, place, or thing (even details, I might add now); but this guy was a piece of work...not only was it very hard for me to try and talk to him, it was even more awkward to have him initiate ANYTHING...and usually, I'm the one that's in for a surprise. However, this experience left me saying "I'll never do anything like this again" repeatedly as I drove home last night.
On the next order of business, I've been brought up with a serious realization...my current bf brought up that, next summer, if he were to work with his father, the chances of us seeing each other would come down to a non-existent level. I mean, and I'm pretty sure he'll read this later on, I love him very much and I'll lay down everything for him in order to be with him...but with this thought, I guess you can say that this might tear my hearts into the morsel pieces on a far worse level than I can ever remember. I really don't want that to happen, and yet I find it sad that this might come true. He presented an opinion: we could work this out throughout the year he's at school and we'll work out what will happen when the time comes. Which, to translate, would lead to breaking up with me. In all honesty, I don't want that option to ever come true. I want to be with him so much, the very thought of us breaking up is too severe for this poor soul. I just want to tell him that, even though I trust him and back up anything he tells me he sets his heart to, this is one decision that I have to tell him that I don't like and back up for him. So, sweetie...if you're reading this post...I really don't want us to break up or not being able to see each other. You make me feel all the more special to be with and you make me smile as I think of you, or even hear your name...among other things. And I'm sure that you understand why I say this.
To end this post, I have something new to give to you all. And on that note, may your day be bright as these 'words by the soul' help guide you throughout your day.
Closing my eyes, I search out to find the luminous shine
whom I call love. And, in this somber chasm of despair,
I learn that not all is weighed in gold, but what we value
as gold itself. The virtious truth of love is dissonant, as very
few are able to achieve such an accomplishment in their
duration, and vast have tried to seek this rare treasure
and have died in the shallow of their dejection.
As I reopen my eyes, there you stand: the very aim
of this ode of lust and yearning. I reach out to grasp
the very soul that has captured my very fiber of vitality,
and yet you step back with a look of melacholy in your eyes.
I try again, only to have futile results and it comes
to settle a deep, hallow shell of doubt and hesitation that
could only mean the very destruction of this trust and bond...
But, as you open your mouth and words of encouragement
bound out of it, you reach out and touch the tears
of my sorrow and kiss away all thoughts of abandonment.
I am embraced with a warmth that could only come from you,
as you whisper that you long to be with me for lifetimes beyound
this very one. I close my eyes again and find the shine that
was amissed...the one whom I call love.
